“If You Just Held Bitcoin for 15 Years You'd Be a Billionaire” is the Dumbest Phrase in Finance
All you had to do was drop $100 on Bitcoin in 2010 and then... do absolutely nothing while your portfolio did this:
$100 → $1.7 million (2013) “I’m rich!”
→ $170k (-90%) “Never mind, I’m poor again. Bitcoin is dead”
→ $110 million (2017) “Okay, now I’m actually rich.”
→ $18 million (-84%) “LOL just kidding, crypto is dead for good.”
→ $390 million (2021) “This time it’s different, we’re going to the moon!”
→ $85 million (-78%) “Sam Bankman-Fried just rug-pulled the entire industry.”
→ $1.6 billion → $390 million → $2.8 billion (2024–2025)
Congrats! You didn’t sell into five separate 75–90% crashes and never once took profits to buy a sandwich.
You absolute legend. You psychic. You time-traveling, emotionless, steel-nerved prophet.
No human being will ever do that without selling.
Why The Phrase Deserves Endless Mockery
90% drawdowns are heart attack events.
When you’re sitting on $100 million, “just a little off the top for a car and a house” is the most rational move known to man.
The only people who actually held the whole way either:
Lost their password
Were in a coma